I was sitting with my family last night and relaxing. A
little light conversation and no worries about the day. It was a great way to
spend the evening. I had some time free from a crushing deadline and I was
spending it with my family rather than stressing out. As I sat there, I
realized just how happy I was. This is not the fleeting kind of happy that I
feel whenever I am chasing my addiction. This is the kinds of happiness that I
used to feel before all of this ever got started.
I got the feeling right then that it might actually be
possible for me to have the kind of life that I want to have. I made sure that
I logged it in my mind so that I could hold on to that kind of feeling whenever
I am thinking about looking at some porn or jumping on a chat site. I want to be
able to have more of those feelings. If I can have it all of the time, that
would be great.
I am not going to be so foolish as to think that I will ever
have a time in my life when I will not have to be on my guard. Even with all of
the happy thoughts in the world, I will still need to be vigilant about what I
am doing with my free time. Right now, I do not have any free time. What little
extra time I do have is spent running chores or trying to catch up with my
family about what is going on in their world. I am also spending more time in
writing for my own blogs including this one. I figure that the more that I am
occupying myself with positive things, the less I will have time for all of the
crap that will get me into trouble.
Right now on one of my blogs, I am getting at least ten page
views a day. I know that with some promotion and a little bit of effort, I can
get that number even higher. My current goal is to get it at over 100 page views
a day. I would like for the work I am doing for myself to start generating my
income rather than having to work for others. Who knows, maybe I can finally be
my own boss.
Enough rambling. It is time for me to get back to work.
Thank you for listening whoever is reading this and I will check in again
really soon.
